Editor's Note: This satirical blog post and rebrand announcement were created for Relativity's April Fool's Day 2018 celebration. Sadly there aren't any Relativity storefronts coming to your neighborhood anytime soon.
Innovation. We all like to say it. Yet, it’s meaningless without doing something completely net new—a new method, a new idea, a new product.
When we rebranded our company to Relativity in 2017, our aspiration was to double down on the name that our customers and partners put so much time and investment into, and the name that 160,000 users of the platform know. It demonstrated our commitment to simplifying and accelerating the e-discovery process with a single technology platform, connected to every workflow, that creates a network effect for our users.
But that begs the question: how do you show a commitment to “innovation” with a name everyone already knows?
Well, this year, we’re rebranding yet again to showcase that commitment. We’re way more than the review tool you used 10 years ago. Have we built killer processing functionality that can tackle your largest and most heinous jobs? Have we made analytics even smarter to understand complicated documents across your case load? Have we made it all super-fast?
Yes. To all of these. Which is why, as of April 2, we’ll be rebranding Relativity as “Processing and Neural Document Analysis Express,” or P.A.N.D.A. Express, for short.
At P.A.N.D.A. Express, we’re committed to creating the most cutting-edge tech to help you organize data, discover the truth, and act on it. Not only that, but we’re committed to delivering P.A.N.D.A. Express in the same way you consume our software today—as a SaaS product via our knowledge framework for the cloud (KFC) or via one of our many partners, who really act as franchise owners of sorts to deliver amazing service on top of the P.A.N.D.A. Express platform.
While we’re sharing this news, we’d also like to introduce our newest update. This month’s P.A.N.D.A. Express release is hand-sliced to order, including the following enhancements:
Sweet-fire File Transfer
Bright and sweet, with the right amount of tang, P.A.N.D.A. Express’s sweet-fire file transfer application will allow you to get your data into P.A.N.D.A. Express faster than you can say “Sbarro.”
A Complete Analytics Menu
We’ve had active learning in P.A.N.D.A. Assisted Review for a couple months now, but our customers still have trouble understanding which analytics feature to use when during their cases. To help make the entire analytics smorgasbord more user-friendly, you can now use the “print menu” button to send physical pamphlets outlining the array of options users have for analytics to your team’s doorsteps—whetting their appetites before they even start on a project.
Brick and Mortar
With this release of P.A.N.D.A. Express, we’re now offering retail establishments across the globe where folks can see our latest enhancements, get hands-on with the software before purchasing, and buy a coveted P.A.N.D.A. Express track jacket.
We’re excited to announce H5 as our first partner on board. “We’re excited about the rebrand, and look forward to having more facetime with prospects at our local P.A.N.D.A. Express storefront,” said Jason Richard, vice president of products of H5. “It’s really the best way to deliver a delicious—and sometimes spicy—e-discovery experience.”
In the end, besides all this innovation, what does this rebrand mean to you? Not much. Our name changes, but our vision remains the same: simplifying and accelerating the entire e-discovery process and community by bringing it all together at P.A.N.D.A. Express.
